Meredith Beach Miller

Meridith, I am so sorry! I wanted to go with you more then anything and I often wish I had. I was a fool who was easily manipulated by some one who knew how to pluck my heart strings. We both know I was not in love with Michaela, but when I went back and told her the wedding was off, she used every button she could get her grimy little fingers on, but the one that snagged me was Travis, her son. She used him against me and I let her, because I loved that kid, and I didn't want him going back to the nightmare that was his life before I came into it. The bottom line is that I was week, and I let her manipulate me into a life altering decision and it was all my own fault. I made that bed of nails and I had to live in it for seven years of my life while she did just what I knew she'd do...jump up and down on my chest in an attempt to draw blood.
I want you to know that I would have gone with you in a heart beat if not for my own weakness. There was nothing I didn't like about you, you were the first girl in sometime that I was really attracted to and turned on by. The day before the wedding, when we sat and talked on that bench overlooking the lake, I knew you were right, she wasn't like us, she would make me unhappy, and you were the only one who had the guts to tell me the truth and I loved that about you. besides being extremely cute and beautiful (yes Meredith was both), you were happy, intelligent, funny, sexy, playful, open minded and extremely cool. Meredith beach miller, you were the shit. If I was half as smart as I think I am, I would have went with you as we planned regardless of what Michaela had said. You were positively delicious! Probability is that I'll never see you again, but maybe with luck this blog will reach you and you will remember my real name and know how I truly felt. I hope you didn't feel betrayed that fateful day, because you weren't, I only betrayed my self. I hope you got every thing you ever wanted out of life, because you were a beautiful person and you deserved it. I only wish I could have been part of it. So sorry I let you go. All things happen for a reason though, who knows what those reasons really were. I wish that we had at least kept in touch though, you were a person I really enjoyed knowing.

Great memories of meredith:
long talks about nothing in particular and joking around all the time
making out in the roomservice room of the lake Powell Wahweap lodge resort and marina.
flirting at work for an entire shift
her saying to me " you love these baby making hips don't you" while she ran her hands over them and then moving closer and grabbing my hand and putting it on her butt and saying "feel it".
hanging out and dreaming.
her changing in front of me in her dorm room, no underwear. I wanted to attack her, maybe I should have.
finding someone I related to on a deeper level.
She was just plain cool!