MOO MOO COW!!!

Every time I get together with various groups of old friends, the Moo Moo Cow story invariably comes up. Apparently it is one of the most memorable memories of your dear old Jack Swag in the eyes of many. Really it's quite silly and in retrospect, was kind of mean...of course I was a lot more thoughtless back in the day. So for the poor guy it happened to, who was probably just a schlub trying to get by in the world, I apologize. Now onward with the hilarious antics.
Once upon a time Three punk rock dorks, me being the biggest dork, were in a liquor barn in downey Ca. purchasing a few cases of that o' so nasty swill known as lucky lager, when I did spy one of those goofy sophisticated types perusing the wine section. You know the type, golfing cap, corduroy jacket with leather elbow patches, ivy league pipe hanging out of his yapper, psychologist beard, an air of extreme self importance. I went over to my friends Dave and Joe and was like "dude, check this guy out". we watched him for a minute as he inspected the bottle he was holding, and then he holds the bottle under his nose and waves it back and forth while he takes big sniffs of it like some wine connoisseurs do to catch the scent off of the cork....only this wine bottle had a screw on cap! priceless! It was to hilarious. I was like "oh my god, I have got to wreck this guys reality, watch this shit". So I started walking towards him, now keep in mind that I am a fairly beefy guy with bright magenta pink hair, a dress shirt with the sleeves cut off, a pair of dickies and some big ass firemen s boots, still not really an acceptable look back in the early eighties, I was like a human cartoon. As I approach him I act like I am gonna just walk past him, but when I get to him I step right up next to him face to face, no doubt invading his much desired personal space, start vibrating my head in a seizure like motion, then dip my head chin pointing down as I stretch my neck out while swooping back up to the chin pointing to the sky position (just an inch from his nose, all neck muscle bulging from the strain, face shaking like a vibrator, mouth like a snapping turtle and in a very loud cartoon voice I say "MOO MOO COW!!!". The guy freaked. He stumbled backwards with a look of horror on his face and started stuttering "ya-ya-ya-ya-you're insane! There's something mentally wrong with you!!" of course he was right, so I told him so "nothing could be truer". and I walked away with a goofy look on my face as he stood there with his mouth agape and his eyes agog in a state of utter disbelief as he watched me jounce merrily out of the store. My friends (actually it was my friend Dave and My cousin Joe) were of course laughing their asses off, and if I remember right, the guy gave them an obligatory "hey, that's not funny"...it didn't stop the laughing. Amazing how a simple act of giving someone a big fat moo moo cow is still remembered, what is it? 20 years later? crazy. anywho, now you to know the infamous story of the moo moo cow. Charming aren't I?
I will try and make a video of myself doing the moo moo cow and link it to this blog so that all may witness it's miracle and magic. The moo moo cow has spoken.
Thank you for indulging in my asinine parade of blunderhood, treat yourself to a nice long blumpkin today, you deserve it.